Okay. First things first. You're wondering...so what do I get for logging on?

Don't be embarrassed. We all want something for our efforts.

That's why we invited you here in the first place.

So -- first things first. You get our fake newspaper. Really.

Yes -- you read correctly. Both the words "get" and "fake" are in that short sentence. And, so is the word, "newspaper."

Let's just parse that sentence quickly.

The newspaper is called The Mammalian Daily. It's not a daily. It's not even really fake. It's a four-page tabloid that won't tax your time or your wallet. But, it might expand your horizons. Then, again, it might not. It might just tickle your funny bone.

"Get," of course, has more than one meaning. We are only in control of one of those meanings. Meaning...that we can make sure that you "receive" it, but whether you really get it, well, that's not up to us. Still, we do hope that -- to use the line from that play about horses -- "you receive our meaning." As well as our paper.

So, how do you make sure that you get the paper?

Simple. Send us an e-mail. Tell us you found out about us from the Black Cats promotion. And, we'll send you a copy. Or two. Or three. Free. Gratis. And, for nothing. Or, more accurately, for logging on.

Try it. You'll like it. Well, we can't promise that. But we did our best. Now, it's your turn. Here you go...just click: tryit@mammaliandaily.com .

We look forward to hearing from you. Until then...

Yours sincerely,

The Editor

Have you seen one of these? Better yet, do you have one? And, even more importantly, would you like one?

It's the hottest ticket in town. That town, by the way, is Toronto (Ontario, Canada). And Toronto, in September, means one thing: The Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF, for short). [Once upon a time, people also thought "Toronto" meant "meeting place" in some native language. But that's a story for another time.]

So, what, we hear you saying, does this have to do with Toronto...and with the film festival?

We don't blame you for wondering. "This" (as in "this ticket" and the movie ad above) is what Lucy Ricardo would have called a "publicity stunt." We prefer to call it an advertising stunt.

Yes, it's a way to get attention. But, it's more than that.

It's a way to let you know what The Mammalian Daily does and what it's about. Parody. Irony. Humour. Showing you a different point of view. Making you think, "What if...?"

So, the ticket and the ad are...let's say, samples. Here we are. This is what we do. Try us out. Did you enjoy it? There's more where that came from. All you have to do is ask and you can have it. That sort of thing.

People might recognize these items from the film festival. Because we've been giving them out on the street.

Yes -- these soon-to-be collectors' items, probably the only fake ticket in the whole festival (and likely the only fake ad) are available, for a limited time only to those who would like one.

Why is that, you ask? Because not everybody lives in Toronto (we'll just let that one go). So, not everybody had a fair chance to get the freebies. Trust us. These babies will end up on Ebay someday. We can't say exactly when. But, soon. Even if we have to put them there, ourselves.

So, go ahead. Ask us for one. What's the worst that can happen? We send you one of our newspapers?

You know you want to. So, click here: iwantmyticket@mammaliandaily.com .

Now, that didn't hurt, did it?